My Brother - Part 2

Just to let you know, the man who did this was caught and is serving 2 life sentences! His get-a-way driver is finally behind bars but only after she violated her parole. She's only gone for like 6 or 8 years. My brother was an innocent by standard in this whole mess, very unfortunate.

Life without my big brother is very different. It obviously will never be the same. Shortly after all this I moved here to North Carolina. I felt as though I was abandoning my parents. My brothers gone and I was the only child they had left. It left my heart very heavy. For the few years I lived here it wasn't too bad. We'd travel up to PA as much as possible and they'd travel down as much as possible. I spoke with them several times a day. Thank heavens for unlimited text messaging and for them being somewhat technically inclined! Then I got pregnant. That's when a whole new set of feelings set in for me. There is obviously NOT A DAY that goes by that I don't think of Shawn. Once we got pregnant, I ended up feeling happy, excited and sad all at the same time. Now my mind starts, he would have been an amazing uncle. I think of all that he will miss out on with not just the family anymore but now my child. Nonetheless a BOY!! I see so much of Shawn in Brayden already. I hope Brayden takes on my brothers personality. Which isn't too far off from mine and Ricks. Even though this is the life that was dealt for me and my family all I can do is manage to make it a good one. One with many wonderful memories. Ones that Brayden can pass on to his kids as well. I will give him as much knowledge of his Uncle Shawn that I can, in hopes that he will pass that on too. I need to make the best of what I have now, because we are here one moment and gone the next. Through this I have questioned many things, good or bad. I have lost my way with the Lord and hope that I am on my way to finding my way again. You can't help but question so many things when you experience something like this. I still have good days and bad but I do my best to keep on smiling.
In memory of Shawn David Allen, may you rest in peace and know that I love you dearly. I will do my best to make you proud of your baby sister. Until we meet again....
4/24/1974 - 4/21/2007

PS. My parents moved to NC in May of 2011!!!!

http://www.pomc.com/murderwall.cfm

Panel 31 on the Murder Wall

Also, April 22nd - April 28th is Crime Victims Rights Week - say a prayer, there is too much crime in this world and you never know who among your friends or family is a victim.